Faith
By Alison Colavecchia
11.1.02 (www.slowtwitch.com)

I am no theologian. I can’t quote scripture for you nor could I hold an articulate conversation about the differences between many faiths. These facts used to leave me feeling that I was somehow a lesser Christian, that I was someone deservedly less close to my Creator. I do not feel this way anymore. My faith has kept me company through too many trials and tribulations, helped me to steer a steady and sure course through the muck and mire, joys and sorrows integral to a life fully lived.

Like many, my faith has been tested in those dark moments that seem to make no sense—moments too terrible to think that a "good" God couldn’t have, wouldn’t have, taken steps to prevent. The events of Sept 11 and the recent death of my lovely, loved and loving cousin at the age of 40 from pancreatic cancer have been such a test. They leave me asking some of those big questions. I know that finding the answers takes a lifetime and that the solutions sometimes just don’t come the way we want or expect. My faith helps me to trust that somewhere, somehow, events that make no apparent sense to me now will in the end serve a greater purpose. I try hard to believe, as in the words found in Garth Brooks’ song Unanswered Prayers, that sometimes, "some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."

Of course there are various types of faith. For those who believe, there is the faith in a higher power but there is also the faith we have in ourselves. I would say that I better practiced the former than the latter. I have not always believed myself to be capable of accomplishing great things. It was easier to believe that in the great cosmic picture my lot was not to do so. As I have asked myself to step forward and try these last five years, I have watched myself move through things that I wasn’t so sure I was capable of. My progress has generated a compelling body of evidence, though. Perhaps someone who can do an Ironman is capable, more capable than previously thought.

So as I set out to complete my first marathon this last month, I had a new feeling. For the first time I knew I was in good hands. I knew this not just because of my spiritual faith, which has never really wavered, but because I finally knew for certain that whatever came my way I would manage. I was in my own good hands. If things went wrong it wasn’t going to be because I was weak, lesser than, or not deserving. No, I knew it would be because I was simply not as prepared as I could have been—no more, no less. This moment of clarity contrasts to a different moment I had four years ago. Struggling to be one of the last 20 racers out of a field of roughly 800, I remember thinking that my difficulties must be a reflection of me as a person and not of my preparation.

So as I set out to make my way through the 42.2km of my first marathon, I had so much more going with me than I did in those first few years. I had my spiritual faith but now had a great deal more faith in myself. I also brought along the strength of character my cousin possessed and would have brought to the first marathon she was preparing for but never got to race.

Marathon completed, steady and sure. Another slice of faith restored.

Alison Colavecchia
Canadian International Marathon Finisher (4:19)
Loving cousin of Patti

Still Tri’n