Preoccupied
By Alison Colavecchia
7.9.02 (www.slowtwitch.com)

I confess that I think about my Ironman A LOT. I am a walking stream of triathlon consciousness. I spend less time training than I do pondering gear permutations. Or the long list of things that could go wrong. Or ho,w to fit in the remaining workouts, or how I feel physically or what it will be like to be doing my first Ironman.

This mental running amok gets more difficult to tame as I approach my race day. I used to be able to set these thoughts aside or save them for workouts but now—three weeks out from race day—they’re out of control. Thoughts now come at the most inconvenient times and I am not holding back. I find myself wondering whether I have done enough or too little. What is the most comfortable jersey for a rainy race day? Is my nutrition plan really solid? Did that tube last because it is now installed properly or is it still a flat waiting to happen? Was that left cleat not working ‘cause it’s time to replace it? Hmm, maybe if I clean it. Did I clean the chain properly? How sweet the last run was. How long did it last again? (Check the watch.) Yup , 2 hours and 45 minutes. Cool. Wonder if the next one will feel as good. Oh boy, my hamstring is tight again. Maybe I should get it looked at. Hmm, climbing that hill yesterday I thought I was going to fall over—I can’t believe I got to the top (smile to myself).

Suddenly, I realize I am smiling on the outside too! Doh! I am in a meeting! Focus …focus…I wonder where they start serving coke? What if my stomach gives out? Oh, and that finish line.

I am now lost to mental images of myself running across the finish line in the dark, then in the early evening light. I imagine crawling across, smiling gleefully across, crossing with all three of my children in tow, crossing sobbing like a baby, crossing arms open to the heavens.

Yup, thinking about my Ironman has not been factored into my weekly totals. Perhaps it should be. This is really the reason I forgot to mail the property tax envelope, book the sitter, get that load of laundry from the washer to the dryer, get to the dentist appointment on time, answer that e-mail, was late for that meeting…. I’m preoccupied.

There is an element of functionality to some of the thinking. It helps me attend to the necessary details—tie up the loose ends. But in the middle of my last race, the Tupper Lake Tinman, I found myself thinking about my Ironman. Here I was in the Lake Placid neighborhood, racing. I was close to the iron site and on similar terrain. I was hot and it was hilly. I imagined myself in the midst of IM USA as I covered the miles. If I am this hot now how will I feel when I have an extra three hours of riding to do? If the hills are this hard how will I do two times this? I became overwhelmed with my thoughts and they started to interfere. I had to stand down on my bike and walk on the run to settle my head.

I realized that if I was going to do my best in this race now was not the time to be thinking ahead. I needed to bring my head back to this race. This ride. This run. I worked very hard to shut the stream of iron consciousness off. I got back on track. Back to my own race. I did my best. Completing this race was a good lesson in head management and one that I hope to use again July 28th.

With 19 days to go, though, I am back to being preoccupied.

Still Tri’n