Since you can't see where "here" is, I'll describe it as just below my hairline, which is quite high up, in all ways in which that might be construed.

More precisely, "here" is on my forehead and a little to the left, which is the most recent place I've been stung by a bee. This is a monthly occurrence, on average. It isn't serious; I don't get anaphylactic reactions. But it hurts, dang it, and it's not just that I get stung fairly often, and always on bike rides—it's that bees are always flying into the holes in my helmet, and I've got to shoo them out. Am I the only one with this problem?

I'm not attacked by swarms. Killer bees, which do attack en masse, have made their way to San Diego. But either these aren't the ones who sting me, or they've decided in my case to be fair fighters. It's like Del Jewe asked Jeremiah Johnson, as he was likewise attacked by Indians: "It's always like this? One at a time?"

I blame helmet companies. I spent $145 for a helmet with bigger vent holes and what do I get for it? I'm wearing a bee vacuum. My head is like a jet airplane engine, and it's sucking up any winged object in its path.

It's not just my head, though: I get stung on my arms and legs as well. Sometimes they fly down my jersey and sting me. One flew into my mouth and stung me on the backside of my lower lip. I looked like Forrest Gump's Army sidekick Bubba for three days.

But they seem to be attracted to the helmet holes. I even bought a new helmet—same model, different color. Same result.

So I'm thinking about a net over the helmet to keep them out. But I want the venting, and also I don't want to look like a dork—at least any more than I already do. Maybe that'll help.

Other than that I've got no solution. There is no moral to this story. No happy ending. It's me against them, and there's a lot more of them.

As I write this I am preparing to mount up and ride again today. I'll be out riding around Palomar Mountain, and if you see somebody standing on the side of the road in bike clothes waving his arms wildly about his head, he hasn't gone mad, he's just another bike
rider out doing what he loves.