Florida gets the last word

Here we are, Wednesday, fielding complaints about last weekend's drafting at Ironman Florida, predicting this weekend's drafting at Clearwater 70.3. Of course there was drafting. When you stick over 2000 athletes on a pancake flat course, what did you think was going to happen?

Not a micron of sympathy here for those who raced and who now complain; who are shocked, shocked to find that drafting is going on here! To quote the ambulance chaser, "You knew or should have known."

It's not cheaters who are to blame, or bad marshals. It's flatness. Flatness caused last weekend's packs, it'll cause this weekend's packs. Flatness caused the same thing at both these races last year.

But I feel sorry for the State of Florida, taking the heat for the formation of packs at triathlons. So I thought I'd give Florida the last word here. If a state could speak for itself, here is what I think Florida would say to those who found Florida a less than hospitable bike course host.

"Son, we live in a world that has packs, and those packs have to be enabled by states with flat roads. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Mister Slowtwitch Forum Candyass?

"I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That these packs, while tragic, probably saved time. And that my flatness, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves time. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at tri club meetings, you want to be in that pack, you need to be in that pack.

"I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my topography to a man who softpedals and freewheels in the packs formed by the flatness that I provide, then questions the flatness by which I provide for them. I would rather you just said thank you, and rode on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you enter Ironman Lanzarote."